Self-compassion and Personal Growth
Life can be uplifting and challenging at times. When life is painful, humans tend to judge themselves, which can add further hardship. The inner critic can often sabotage change and personal growth. When things go wrong, do you tend to say these things to yourself?
I’m a failure
I’m undeserving
I’m worthless
Life never works out for me
I can’t do anything right
What’s the point
Things never work out for me
I’m damaged
Does your self-judgment lead to shame, a sense of helplessness, feeling detached or depressed, anxiety about the future, feeling stuck, or repeating cycles of unhelpful behaviour?
The inner critic usually leads to self-sabotage. Some people might fight this by focusing on over-achieving to feel better, a dedication to distraction, or seeking approval or validation from others. Even then, there still might be a lingering sense of not feeling good enough or that something is missing.
What is the solution?
Self-compassion is the antidote to self-criticism. Self-compassion is the capacity to be accepting and kind to oneself in the midst of suffering. Self-compassion is not about relinquishing responsibility. Self-compassion can help us to see the reality of a situation and allow us to be more caring and encouraging to ourselves in the face of problems. This can mean we see what’s in our best interests and be open to change. It is learning to acknowledge your suffering as part of the human condition and care about yourself as you would a dear friend. It is about learning a new language in which to speak to yourself and treating yourself with tenderness, respect and kindness. This is a skill that may not have been fostered or encouraged in your upbringing or social circle, however you can choose to treat yourself differently.
Research has shown that developing self-compassion can assist with recovery from anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem issues, adjustment issues, burnout and perfectionism.
If you are interested in self-compassion or personal growth please contact Tim Bonaldi.
Written by Tim Bonaldi.
References:
Kristen Neff: www. self-compassion.org
Chris Germer: www.chrisgermer.com